My friend, Kelly Brownbill, taught me something very powerful. It was related to making unintended cultural blunders when supporting Indigenous clients, but I have found it applies everywhere, as all good teachings do.
She said,
"Don't say you are sorry. That doesn't mean anything. They don’t want you to feel sorry for them. That doesn't help anyone! Say, ‘Thank you for teaching me’, instead."
Can you feel how different that feels?
Can you see how from this place, there is something positive out of the interaction, and you are likely to go forward spreading what you have learned, instead of hiding from what you are ashamed of?
Such an easy and impactful shift.
What if you tried that with a lover/friend/child, when they call you out on something?
What if we did that with our horses?
Not, 'I am sorry I pushed too hard'. Not, 'I am sorry I lost my temper'. Not, 'I am sorry I caught you in the mouth and my lack of balance and timing causes you discomfort while I learn'.
“Oh, you poor thing! Putting up with ME!"
How about,
"Thank you for teaching me. It is with deep gratitude that I recognize my privilege and my learning. "
See what this shift does in YOUR life with horses and humans and let me know your thoughts.
One of the basic tenets of our course - FROM AMATEUR TO MAGICIAN, MAKING MAGIC WITH HORSES - is based on Maya Angelou's quote, "Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better."
I almost left the horse industry because felt so sorry for the horses who suffered for our whims. I cringed internally with a sense of sorry and shame for ways I didn't change their world.
Now, I say 'Thank you for teaching me', and spread what I have learned.
Maybe you will, too?
Take a chance,
Paige
xoxox
P.S. Message, to find out more about our course!
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